2 MOnth mark
Arg yes, I know, it's been like 3 weeks since my last post. I am sorry, but I have to live at least somewhat in the moment.
Alright my dear readers, this Wednesday is going to mark 2 months in this beautiful country. How odd it is to remember mid-july Emma, still unable fathom that I was actually going to Costa Rica. I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of early-october Emma, 2 months deep in her exchange, thinking back on that same mid-july Emma. Time is so odd that way, somehow me convince ourselves that a certain time will never come, even though we know full well that time is going to keep on doing what it does at the same rate, never stopping. Ok enough of that, as my mom told me "You're too young to be philosophical."
I left off a while ago, a lot has happened since then. To begin with, a few weekends ago I went to Puntarenas beach, which is about a 2 hour drive from my house. Any Tico will tell you that it's a terrible beach, ugly and dirty. I will say it wasn't what I imagined when I thought of a Costa Rican paradise, but the ocean is the ocean, no matter how off-putting the beach. This beach was different from any I had ever been to. First off, the water was actually warm, and I didn't feel like I was about to die after 15 seconds in the water. Another thing that was pretty different is that no body goes out further than 15 feet into the water. Apparently there are pretty impressive undercurrents that can grab you if you go out too far. All in all, I had a really great time with my family, despite the fact that the waves here are racist and tried to kill me on several occasions.
After that, it was off to another week of school. School is getting easier, but socially it is still hard. I still need that once person I can tell everything to, but it is hard for my classmates to understand what I am feeling since this is such a unique and indescribable experience. Most of the school day I spend listening to other people speak with each other, joking about something that happened before I arrived in August, or gossiping about someone I don't know. It's hard to feel like you fit in when you just really... don't... I have made friends with the other exchange student in my school, somewhat by accident. I think it was inevitable because we both needed so badly to talk to someone who would actually understand what the other was going through. AFS discourages you from spending all your time with the other exchange students, but it's so nice to have someone who can relate to me. Sadly, she leaves in January, and possibly earlier because she is having some problems, so I can't depend on having her for this whole year.
The next weekend I went to my big AFS orientation in San Jose. Matilde (the Italian in my school) and I took a bus at 5:30 on Friday morning into San Jose and took a taxi to the big blue AFS office, where we met up with the 70 other students in our orientation group. It was so nice to see my friends from the USA again, and to speak real english, not simplified or watered down. However, we didn't have much time to catch up at first because right after we arrived, it was off to get our residence permits (the visa). We spent about 2 hours waiting in a long line to start applying, and about an hour more in the actual building getting asked questions and getting fingerprinted. A pretty boring process, but painless. We spent the rest of the day at the AFS office, doing more visa things, eating pizza, and sleeping. Then it was off to the hotel for dinner and I am not ashamed to admit I went to bed at 9 with no second thoughts. The next day we spent a biopark where I saw a SLOTH and other natural, biopark-esque things. More of the same old orientating, stuff we already knew mostly, but it was fun. I really enjoy being with these other exchange students, I never have a dull conversation. That night was spent in the pool, and in the sauna talking about ex-boyfriends with all the Italian girls. Of course there was an 11:30pm pizza order, and of course I fell asleep before the pizza even arrived. It was so cool to see how much Spanish we had learned after only 2 months. Everyone was speaking Spanish, and although most of us weren't fluent yet, we were all able to carry on an actual conversation in our second language, which I think is pretty impressive after 8 weeks. Of course the dang Italians were all fluent, and no matter how much we tried to argue they all said the Spanish was hard for them too. Whatever.
That brings you up to last week, a normal week of school. I start exams this Wednesday with physics, and if I get above a D on any of them I am going to buy a little too much celebratory chocolate. Ah yes, I suppose that must be addressed. My fellow AFS USA-ers like to say we are becoming vast, not getting fat, I mean, if you think about it, we are expanding mentally and emotionally, its only fitting that our bodies would expand to match our new mental capacity. Well, thats what I like to tell myself. But I mean come on, I challenge you to find one, just one exchange student who didn't put on those initial pounds. I'm not worried.
Today I went to Volcan Irazu. It was phenomenal(ly freezing). But seriously, when you think of volcanos you think "Magma, Lava, Hot" but somehow they all manage to be so cold. Other than almost freezing to death, the Volcano was actually one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my life. We could see so far down into the crater, and everything as far as the eye could see was covered in volcanic ash. It was gorgeous and humbling, it almost felt like we had stepped onto another planet for a moment as I looked down into the crater.
Studying abroad is hard, and the mood swings are real. I haven't yet had one day be all of one thing. All good, all bad. But I have certainly had really good, and really bad moments. It's important to remember how incredibly cool what you're doing is when you get beat down. It's ok to let your mind wander when its loud and crazy and Latin American, that's just what minds do when they're trying to make sense out of non-sense. But what I end up having to do it try to control where my mind goes. If my mind goes back to New Mexico I have to snap out of it because that's when I get the most depressed. In the end I have to remind myself that the beginning is the hardest, and I think I'v made it through the worst. Since I was able to do these last 2 months, I feel so much stronger and more capable than I'v ever felt before. I feel so free now, I think thats what it feels like to finally get in the clear, out of the rut, over the hump, you get the idea. I have only been here for 2/11th of the time, and I can already feel the payoff.
Photos (I mean it this time) to follow.
Love, the wander-lustful Emma
Alright my dear readers, this Wednesday is going to mark 2 months in this beautiful country. How odd it is to remember mid-july Emma, still unable fathom that I was actually going to Costa Rica. I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of early-october Emma, 2 months deep in her exchange, thinking back on that same mid-july Emma. Time is so odd that way, somehow me convince ourselves that a certain time will never come, even though we know full well that time is going to keep on doing what it does at the same rate, never stopping. Ok enough of that, as my mom told me "You're too young to be philosophical."
I left off a while ago, a lot has happened since then. To begin with, a few weekends ago I went to Puntarenas beach, which is about a 2 hour drive from my house. Any Tico will tell you that it's a terrible beach, ugly and dirty. I will say it wasn't what I imagined when I thought of a Costa Rican paradise, but the ocean is the ocean, no matter how off-putting the beach. This beach was different from any I had ever been to. First off, the water was actually warm, and I didn't feel like I was about to die after 15 seconds in the water. Another thing that was pretty different is that no body goes out further than 15 feet into the water. Apparently there are pretty impressive undercurrents that can grab you if you go out too far. All in all, I had a really great time with my family, despite the fact that the waves here are racist and tried to kill me on several occasions.
After that, it was off to another week of school. School is getting easier, but socially it is still hard. I still need that once person I can tell everything to, but it is hard for my classmates to understand what I am feeling since this is such a unique and indescribable experience. Most of the school day I spend listening to other people speak with each other, joking about something that happened before I arrived in August, or gossiping about someone I don't know. It's hard to feel like you fit in when you just really... don't... I have made friends with the other exchange student in my school, somewhat by accident. I think it was inevitable because we both needed so badly to talk to someone who would actually understand what the other was going through. AFS discourages you from spending all your time with the other exchange students, but it's so nice to have someone who can relate to me. Sadly, she leaves in January, and possibly earlier because she is having some problems, so I can't depend on having her for this whole year.
The next weekend I went to my big AFS orientation in San Jose. Matilde (the Italian in my school) and I took a bus at 5:30 on Friday morning into San Jose and took a taxi to the big blue AFS office, where we met up with the 70 other students in our orientation group. It was so nice to see my friends from the USA again, and to speak real english, not simplified or watered down. However, we didn't have much time to catch up at first because right after we arrived, it was off to get our residence permits (the visa). We spent about 2 hours waiting in a long line to start applying, and about an hour more in the actual building getting asked questions and getting fingerprinted. A pretty boring process, but painless. We spent the rest of the day at the AFS office, doing more visa things, eating pizza, and sleeping. Then it was off to the hotel for dinner and I am not ashamed to admit I went to bed at 9 with no second thoughts. The next day we spent a biopark where I saw a SLOTH and other natural, biopark-esque things. More of the same old orientating, stuff we already knew mostly, but it was fun. I really enjoy being with these other exchange students, I never have a dull conversation. That night was spent in the pool, and in the sauna talking about ex-boyfriends with all the Italian girls. Of course there was an 11:30pm pizza order, and of course I fell asleep before the pizza even arrived. It was so cool to see how much Spanish we had learned after only 2 months. Everyone was speaking Spanish, and although most of us weren't fluent yet, we were all able to carry on an actual conversation in our second language, which I think is pretty impressive after 8 weeks. Of course the dang Italians were all fluent, and no matter how much we tried to argue they all said the Spanish was hard for them too. Whatever.
That brings you up to last week, a normal week of school. I start exams this Wednesday with physics, and if I get above a D on any of them I am going to buy a little too much celebratory chocolate. Ah yes, I suppose that must be addressed. My fellow AFS USA-ers like to say we are becoming vast, not getting fat, I mean, if you think about it, we are expanding mentally and emotionally, its only fitting that our bodies would expand to match our new mental capacity. Well, thats what I like to tell myself. But I mean come on, I challenge you to find one, just one exchange student who didn't put on those initial pounds. I'm not worried.
Today I went to Volcan Irazu. It was phenomenal(ly freezing). But seriously, when you think of volcanos you think "Magma, Lava, Hot" but somehow they all manage to be so cold. Other than almost freezing to death, the Volcano was actually one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my life. We could see so far down into the crater, and everything as far as the eye could see was covered in volcanic ash. It was gorgeous and humbling, it almost felt like we had stepped onto another planet for a moment as I looked down into the crater.
Studying abroad is hard, and the mood swings are real. I haven't yet had one day be all of one thing. All good, all bad. But I have certainly had really good, and really bad moments. It's important to remember how incredibly cool what you're doing is when you get beat down. It's ok to let your mind wander when its loud and crazy and Latin American, that's just what minds do when they're trying to make sense out of non-sense. But what I end up having to do it try to control where my mind goes. If my mind goes back to New Mexico I have to snap out of it because that's when I get the most depressed. In the end I have to remind myself that the beginning is the hardest, and I think I'v made it through the worst. Since I was able to do these last 2 months, I feel so much stronger and more capable than I'v ever felt before. I feel so free now, I think thats what it feels like to finally get in the clear, out of the rut, over the hump, you get the idea. I have only been here for 2/11th of the time, and I can already feel the payoff.
Photos (I mean it this time) to follow.
Love, the wander-lustful Emma